Dubbers’ first time at the dentist was a little over a year ago. Dr. Deborah Pilla at Park View Pediatric Dentistry was recommended by Dr. McCarton, as we definitely needed a dentist who was experienced and comfortable with special needs patients. I was SO nervous, knowing how much he hated going to haircuts and doctor appointments, and I could only imagine what was about to go down. I enlisted a small entourage – Dubbers’ ABA Supervisor and his lead Speech Pathologist – to accompany us…that’s how anxious I was.

The waiting room was simple, calm and not intimidating in the slightest, yet Dubbers knew what was up. I do not remember talking about or discussing the dentist with him beforehand, thinking it would only upset him. So my strategy was to “rip the band-aid off,” and prepare for the worst. The staff was very warm and welcomed our small group for his inaugural seat in the infamous dentist chair. The point of this visit was simply to introduce Dubbers to the concept of dentist appointments, meet Dr. Pilla and have her simply check his teeth and do a quick fluoride treatment. There was a small tv above the chair with Netflix, but otherwise the room was calm and simple like the rest of the office. This first visit went OK – not terrible but not great, but in my book that is a win!

The second visit was six months later and actually cleaning his teeth was on the agenda this time. Again, I do not believe I gave Dubbers much warning that we would be going or that this visit would entail a little bit more. I think between my anxiety, his fear and the abrupt way of situating him to lay upside down on my lap and open his mouth for an extended period of time was a recipe for disaster. We both left traumatized and defeated. Poor Dubbers. I felt so bad for him and realized that I had been in the wrong for not preparing him appropriately.

I often forget that even though Dubbers cannot verbalize his thoughts he is still very aware of what is happening around him. In fact, I think his awareness is actually more tuned in then most. He simply needs things explained, sometimes more often and more literal, then others and that is O.K. There is a quote that says, “If they can’t learn the way we teach, we teach the way they learn.”

With this most recent appointment, I took a much different approach and made sure Dubbers knew that he was going to the dentist and even knew what would happen once there. His team at The McCarton Center created a social story that included several pictures of Park View’s office, Dr. Pilla herself and a step-by-step schedule (i.e. open your mouth so the dentist can look at your teeth, etc.). This particular social story also included a countdown calendar that Dubbers checked off in the days leading up to the visit. He loved it and asked to read multiple times each day while in therapy and enjoyed practicing opening his mouth and saying “ahhhh”.

The morning of the appointment Dubbers asked to see his visual schedule we keep at home and then said his perfected “awwww” to let me know exactly what he was thinking. I turned to the page and added the visual image for “dentist” and we then went about our morning. At McCarton all of his therapists were cheering him on as I picked him up early to finally go and see Dr. Pilla. I had one of his ABA therapists come with us and we were on our way with no hesitation or signs of distress.

Dubbers did incredible! The staff was amazing and took all the time needed to ensure Dubbers was comfortable and ready. He sat on my lap in the big chair and opened his mouth exactly as he had prepared to do. We counted and took a few breaks in between each side, top and bottom or when he become anxious or uneasy. A copy of the social story was also there to remind him of what he had already accomplished and what was still left to do. Dubbers had no cavities and Dr. Pilla was very pleased!

So the third time was our charm, but not because of luck. Learning from the past, and preparing Dubbers in a way he is comfortable and able to be successful was crucial. Each time will get better and better. It takes practice and experience not only for the child, but for you, the parent/caregiver as well.

Click here for a list of highly recommended Pediatric Dentists who specialize in Special Needs children here in NYC!